Case Study: How to make Octopus ad much more attractive and convertible?

Today I came across this ad on my facebook page (Note, it is in Chinese):

螢幕快照 2014-09-14 23.18.04

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Translation:

Image text: Queuing can horn my will

2nd line: Unless you have this special reason, otherwise…

octoups.com

…..should apply “Octopus Auto Add Value” service, and get HK$100 supermarket coupon. Called 2266 2338.

In my opinion, it already has some sort of “Direct Response” advertising elements.  Like a headline, a call to action at the end.

However, there are still some rooms for improvements.  For example:

  • The headline should be changed to:
    • Your Life Time Deserves More Valuable Thing Than Queuing
    • Why Waste Your Time Queuing when you can do this
    • Is it worth wasting your time to queuing?

As you can see, one of the good point this ad makes is arousing people interested.  But it is not powerful enough.  By using pain, questions, and reason why, you can achieve much more people to view your ad.

Here is landing page (Direct Link: English / Chinese):

螢幕快照 2014-09-14 23.34.35

 

  • Problem: The relationship of the ad and landing page is clearly NOT connected.  As you can see, apart from the style of the ad (Using headline and conversation), and the subhead: “unless you have this special reason, otherwise…”, the headline itself does not have any connection whatsoever.
  • To solve it, the headline of this landing page should connect to the ad in terms of message in a more clear way.  For example:
    • Now you don’t need to waste a second on your Octopus
    • We gave you $100 for well use of your time
    • Never Queuing again.  (Subhead) We even give you $100 for not doing this!
  • Now the call to action is just a 3 steps process, which seems to be easy.  That is a good one.  But the button at the bottom would somehow direct people to do other things.  If the only action is to call the number, the button below can be changed to text link for a better conversion.

Now what is your comment?  Let me know what you think by comment below and tell us how would you change it to make it a better ad.

Talk to you soon.

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